books and aspirations...

when i was young, i had many ambitions and aspirations, just like children usually do.. they include being a career-woman so i can wear a different pair of high-heels to work everyday, a magazine model so i can look fabulous in clothes that will never look right on anyone walking down the street, a teacher cuz' they were the ones who i came into contact early in life, a air stewardness or flight stewardness as they call it now cuz' i can travel around the world in 80 days, an actress so i can be different characters in every show and explore those unknown sides of me, and a journalist/reporter so i can appear on TV with all the exciting news, etc.. but there's one aspiration that i had in the past, and it hasnt changed till today.. it began when i nurtured my love for reading (fiction).. to become an author..

when i read nice fiction, n get caught up in the whole book, and feel so closely connected to the characers in it dat i feel a loss when the book ends, i get awed by what words can deliver, and do. i feel words empower.. and often wonder if ever one day, i will be an author writing books that give my readers tt kind of awe, tt kind of satisfaction, tt kind of loss. thats prob why i keep a diary, besides the fact tt it is like a storage bank bcuz i m forgetful.. sometimes i have this urge, this longing to go read it to retrieve the memories and happenings of before.. and i will feel like deeply comforted by my words.. even they are not poetic or literary writing, but these words were written by me, and means alot to me.. they are like tangible representation of my life, the people in my life, and my growing up and wiser process.. and even tho the past has long gone, the words give them life, and make the memories seemingly belonging back to that timeframe and as if i m transported along.. and now, i also long to read it, but its all the way (1 and a half hr's journey) inside a drawer at Bedok Reservoir.

but as i grow older, and now studying about the media, i see how my aspiration mite be finalised. but nevertheless, even if i nv do publish any books, i will be comforted that my words mean something to me, and be thankful that many beautiful books exist in the library, contributed by authors from other countries, and that i can still read them and lose myself in the world they created.

sometimes, i wish i was born in another country. then maybe i will become an author. well, maybe i can fulfill another of my endless dreams.. to work in a fashion and beauty magz such as CLEO.. hmm...